….You’re the next contest on read my blog…

Okay so that was totally dumb.  I am more than a little sleep deprived these days.  If you are unaware of the whys &  wherefores you’re not talking to me on Twitter.  If you have been talking to me on Twitter then comment on the blog once in a while.  :)

Anyway the new blog is up!  Please update your bookmarks, blogrolls & RSS feeds.  My new home is http://nil17.com and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be for ya’ll to come on over & take a gander. (Okay the semi-rhyme was way dorky but I’m alright with that.)

Please do comment and if something isn’t working for you let  me know & I’ll get my “team” on it.  If you’re part of the “team” thanks for helping me.  I OWE YOU!

Well I’ve had the new website for nearly a week.  I did manage to narrow my theme choices down to three…well 2 but one may be too “masculine” for me.  I’m still looking at my options.  The one theme that I’m using right now I like the look of but do not like the colors. Therefore I am looking to learn & understand CSS so that I may change the colors while keeping the design intact.

Right now I am more than stuck.  Per usual I’ve bitten off more than I can chew….I am always doing that.  Some idea pops into my mind & I grab it and run.  Whether this works out or not I have no idea.  Sometimes I’m optimistic but more often than not I’m certain this is headed straight for disaster.

If you want to check on what the new blog looks like visit http://nil17.com from time to time to see if there is any progress.  I won’t be posting here very often as I still have to figure out how to move this whole thing at some point & I”m pretty sure increasing the size will be a thing I come to regret.

Friday was the day…I went ahead & purchased my own domain & hosting package. As of 11 o’clock yesterday morning I became the proud owner of http://nil17.com.  Excitement rushed through me as I made the commitment to see where this blog thing will take me.  Then I left the office to get my hair done.

Last night I struggled, freaked out, got angry, got depressed, felt stupid & still managed to work out enough to make it into a live if completely blank page.  Now all I have to do is choose a theme, customize it, move everything from here to there.

I have managed to narrow down my theme choices so that part is getting closer to finished. (Ooops, completely forgot that I need a title to my blog… “Something Creative” is working okay but I’m noticing that people are searching for different things on Google with “something creative…” in the terms & ending up here.  I’m pretty sure the “something creative for bedroom” searcher was wildly disappointed!)

So far I’m getting some great help, advice & encouragement from a bunch of my Twitterati.  It is much appreciated.  Being the neurotic, self-doubting girl I am not being able to just read the directions & make the whole thing work drives me mad.  I’m hanging on though…for now!

This site will remain up & running indefinitely as I want the new site to be in perfect working order before I show you around the new place.  I’ll keep you up to date as much as I can w/o ruining the surprise of what the new digs will look like.

*This concludes the official announcement.  You may go back to your regularly scheduled lives….I shall go back to freaking out*

The events in this post took place between December 2007 & January 2008.  I’ve written a little update at the end.

December 26th I went to the local clinic complaining of extreme abdominal pain. I was ushered into a doctor’s office where the nurse checked my vitals & I waited for the doctor. The doctor came in & talked to me before doing an exam. He determined that I did not have appendicitis but more probably a problematic gallbladder. I was given an injection for pain & another for nausea. Then the doctor scheduled me for a limited abdominal ultrasound for the 27th.

On the 27th I had my ultrasound & was sent home. The doctor called later that day to say no gallstones had shown up on the ultrasound. I was prescribed hydrocodone for the pain (Vicodone @ 500mg/pill up to 6000mg/day). I was also prescribed hydroxyzine for nausea. The hydroxyzine also has the nifty little side effect of amplifying the effects of the hydrocodone.

The next step was to schedule a nuclear imaging test for Jan 4th. I had to lie on a table for an hour without moving anything so that the tech could photograph my abdoman several hundred times. I also got a fun injection that made my gallbladder contract. This causes intense pain. Think snake bite like when you were in grade school…only to your insides and you have to lie still and not curl into a ball.

On the 9th the doctor called to say that the nuclear imaging test was fine. Still no evidence of anything amiss with my gallbladder. However, I insisted on seeing the doctor on the 10th since the pain hadn’t decreased & I’m really starting to enjoy the pain medication. After talking with the doctor he determined that a CT scan on the 16th was in order. I got 2 big bottles of barium sulfate suspension to drink the morning of the test (think orange juice poured into a glass of milk…now drink & enjoy!).

The 16th I had the CT scan. Pretty painless although the IV wasn’t fun. The tech there told me to expect to wait a week before getting the results. Imagine my surprise & even distress when the doctor called promptly the morning of the 17th. The news….still nothing apparently wrong with me. Still experiencing the same severe abdominal pain so now I get a reference to a surgeon.

January 23rd I make the trip to the hospital to speak with the surgeon. His recommendation….endoscopy followed by a colonoscopy depending on what the endoscopy shows.

Well the story ends there. I was denied the chance at an endoscopy ‘cuz I don’t have health insurance. This whole time every test, every drop of blood, every pee cup has had to be approved by the business office. Now they tell me that unless I can come up with $650 plus by the 30th (the best date for the endoscopy) I’m out of luck. I’m not sick enough for them to make an exception.

I’m too poor to afford health insurance. Even the insurance provided by my job requires so much contribution on my part I wouldn’t have any take home pay. However, I’m too “rich” to qualify for medical assistance. Of course should the worst happen & I die before my current bills are paid the hospital will be glad to harrass my husband with collections attempts while he’s busy mourning the death of his wife.

So here I sit on a Thursday night unsure of what I should do next. The most likely course of action is to continue on the medication until I’m sick enough to get treatment in an ER. Of course that’s what happened to my maternal grandfather when I was in Jr. High. He nearly died until the doctors finally removed his gallbaldder.

Healthcare….neither providing health nor care to millions in the US.


I wrote this note on my Facebook account over a year ago.  Since I wrote this I’ve learned to live with more pain than I thought possible.  I stopped taking the pain meds & anti-anxiety drugs so that I could lead a clear-headed life.  I was missing out on too much to keep taking enough medication to keep the pain at bay & would at this point be very addicted to them.  None of this post is intended to support the idea of socialized healthcare.  Rather it’s a look at the utter dispair I was feeling (and still do) when thinking about how sick I must become before a doctor will treat me.  What I’d really like to see happen is that healthcare professional would take charge of the “care” and provide for people based on need not wealth.  There was a time in this country when the ability to pay wasn’t what determined your treatment but rather the need.  Doctors cared for patients in their homes & took chickens, cows or what the patient could afford in lieu of payment.  Why is it that a trip to see a doctor for less than 15 minutes with no vitals taken, no blood tests etc costs at least $90?  A simple office visit to find out you have eczema & not necrotizing faciitis is ridiculously high.  I want someone to fix what we have not get rid this system for a worse one.

Thursday has been my day off for just over 2 years now.  When I went from 2 1/2 days a week to 4 days a week I had to pick a day off.  Since I wasn’t allowed Monday or Friday I decided that Thursday was the perfect break for me.  I’ve used this day to shop, visit family, sleep in, read, play video games & talk on the phone.  In fact Mom is probably worried about me because I haven’t called her in two days.

Sometimes I’ve used the day to mope, be depressed or just stay in bed all day.  Today however was  a good day off.  I woke up early but decided to doze for a while.  Abe read & surfed the internet for a while then I finally woke up fully to the sound of my TweetDeck going off.  Unable to resist that siren song any longer I wiped the sleep from my eyes, fumbled for my glasses & proceeded to catch up on what I’d missed.  Of course like any other time I got involved in a discussion or two.  Always a good time to be had on Twitter.

Finally got fully up and ready for my day.  As I’m getting ready I got a phone call from the office…they had a computer question for me.  Since it wasn’t anything I could explain over the phone I headed in to see if I could provide the solution (I couldn’t because our office has software from the dinosaur age & it’s missing components…).

Since it was a nice day we headed over to the winery to see what was happening.  We visited for a bit & then grabbed lunch to bring back home.  We love the local bakery!  They always have the best & freshest stuff for soup & sandwiches. As per our usual routine we popped in the newest Netflix (another MacGyver disk) and chowed down.

I did a little more looking at the possibility of moving the blog to my own site.  I’ve got some logistics to figure out but I’m hoping to have everything figured out & start the process this weekend.

After all that interweb stuff I decided I should start working to get back on track with the fitness plan.  (I’ve been horribly lax in working out at all.  Sometimes I think what I really need is someone to really whip me into working out.  I have goals but lack the motivation.) I’m hoping to do a little more sweating tonight & then will work on being consistent again.

All in all it’s been a satisfying day & it’s a blessing to know that I have this day off to recharge before heading back to my soul-sucking job.

I don’t like my job.  Wait I think that’s an understatement…right now I hate my job.  It’s sucking my will to live.  Getting up on days where I know I need to go to the office is depressing.  One reason is that it’s not even close to a challenge for me.  Sometimes I honestly think that my dog could be trained to do the job if only it didn’t have to answer the phone.  There is nothing but tedium waiting for me when I walk through the doors at 8 am.  My brain is mostly going to waste…all I do is answer the phone, take payments & type form letters.  Nothing challenging, nothing creative.

Every second I sit in that chair in front I feel suffocated.  Every move I make, every task is exactly the same as the day before.  I feel like an automaton…everything by rote, staring at my screen but seeing only the abyss.  I wonder where life went all screwy that I ended up here.  My job wasn’t supposed to be the administrative assistant to some small insurance agency.  I wanted to be a writer, adventurer, and historian.  Sort of Indiana Jones meets Jane Austen with better clothes.  My job was supposed to take me across the country & around the world….

I need a change….a new direction, a new lease on my work life.  Now if only I didn’t need my job so we could survive…

Not a literal move but a virtual move.  I’m thinking about taking the blog to a new site.  I haven’t made any final decisions as of yet.  I’m weighing my options & consulting with some people who have their own blogs.

I’m thinking of the move so that I have more flexibility with my design & also more storage space for pictures.

One of my problems is what the new address should be.  I’m open to suggestions.  Right now I’m thinking about http://www.nil17.com.

Please let me know what you think.

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